On Friendship: Connection and Its Dwindling

The heyday of my friendships seem to be behind me. After college I moved to northern California and, well, none of my friends visited. We still spoke, and I would see them when I visited southern California, but adulthood set in. Everyone was always busy.

When I moved back to southern California, I was excited to be near my friends again. We would finally be able to spend more time together, I thought. That hasn’t gone as expected. Between last minute invitations, prior commitments, and cancellations, there just hasn’t been a lot of friend time.

At this point in my life, I find myself with one person that I would confidently put in the friend category. Even then, however, I haven’t seen her about four months. I find it fascinating that the people we spent so much time with and relied on simply slip through the cracks.

Sometimes that’s a good thing. I have had friends that I let slip because we weren’t on the same wavelength. Their life choices didn’t fit what I was striving to achieve, and as communication dwindled, I simply let go. With others, however, it wasn’t a conscious choice.  As adults, we spend the majority of our time at work, and frankly, I have had experiences that taught me it’s best to keep co-workers as just that, co-workers.

So here I am, with one true friend, and it can feel lonely. I see others on social media with their friend groups, and I’m genuinely baffled as to how they have so many friends.

Where does one find friends in post-college life?

Frankly, I’m not sure, but I have been consistent in maintaining connection with that one friend. Texts, calls, and DMs have become the main avenues of our friendship, and that’s okay. It’s important to remember that and to always reach out.

I also had the opportunity to reach out to old friends from high school recently. We’ve had dinner and have tentative plans to go hiking soon. The next step? Reaching out to solidify plans.

I have also been interacting more with other bloggers. Even though this can lead to more professional connections, I am open to meeting creative and driven people. Seeing their content, their hustle, and hearing about their passions has been so inspiring and uplifting. It’s simply great to connect with those who are on a similar path and understand your drive. If a friendship arises from these connections, I will be thankful.

Have you found yourself in a similar situation? How have you dealt with it?

Happy living,


  1. Yes! After moving to a new city, I’ve struggled to find friends like I had back home. I’ve never been a super social person but I enjoy having someone I can go have a happy hour drink with or something. I don’t really know where to find friends with similar interests these days. Here’s to us both finding the answer to this soon 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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